Why Six Nigerians Choose Not to Post Their Partners Online

While some people eagerly share their relationships on social media, others deliberately keep their partners out of the spotlight. The reasons vary: protecting privacy, avoiding unnecessary drama, or simply enjoying the advantages of appearing single. Six Nigerians explain why they have chosen not to post their partners online.

“I want to enjoy my relationship in ignorance” — Calliope, 31, F

Calliope has been dating her partner for two and a half years and has never posted him on social media. He is not even her profile . She describes the relationship as beautiful, and that is precisely what worries her. A small voice in her head keeps telling her it is too good to be true, and that digging deeper might land her in the hospital. She does not want to post her partner today only to hear, “I come to you as a woman.” She pleads with anyone who might come to her with such information: she does not have the emotional capacity for investigative journalism in her own relationship. For her, the blind should remain blind.

“My woman is no one’s business” — Franklyn, 27

Franklyn is a private person, so nobody knows when he is in a relationship. He gets in, and people only find out when he has gotten out. He does not want to post his partner, and he does not want her posting him either. He does not need social media validation to prove that his relationship is beautiful or that he is happy. What they have is between them, and he prefers it that way. He might post her on their anniversary or at their wedding, but beyond that, he believes people should mind the business that pays them.

“Love has done something to my eyes” — Ozy, 26

Ozy admits that her man is not the finest man she has dated. She says it plainly. He is a lovely man—caring, thoughtful, and treats her so well. She genuinely loves him, but sometimes, when she looks at pictures of them together, she wonders if love has done something to her eyes. They could be at the most beautiful location, looking all romantic, and she would look at the pictures later and ask herself, “Omo, is this my life?” Her exes were hot men, so she does not know what happened here. Maybe she has finally matured. Maybe her taste has evolved. Maybe love is actually blind. Whatever the case, she is not ready for the ridicule. She has chosen to enjoy her relationship in peace.

“I can’t risk losing my single girl privileges” — Temi, 26, F

Temi likes the attention she gets on social media. She is attractive, she knows it, and she refuses to pretend otherwise. If people find out she is dating someone, she might lose some of the privileges she enjoys by appearing single. She is not ready to give those up. She has never cheated, physically or emotionally, but she questions whether she must abandon the benefits of being a fine woman just because there is a man in her life. Besides, her man benefits too. These men want her and do things for her because they know they cannot have her, but they are still hoping. She finds it beautiful, really.

“The last time I posted my husband, my friend tried to destroy my marriage” — Olamide, 29

Olamide has been married for two years, but she does not post her husband online. The last time she did, a close friend slid into his DMs, accused her of sleeping around, and told him to run a DNA test. Thankfully, he dismissed her claims and told Olamide everything. She also discovered other women were shooting their shots in his DMs. In her words, social media is a battlefield. Her husband does not post her either. One of his friends once messaged her claiming he was married, but when she looked into it, she realised the man liked her and wanted to ruin their relationship. Recently, she posted her husband on TikTok. Someone saved the video to ask if he was her husband. She said yes, and the person started wowing. She deleted the video immediately.

“I’m dating a baddie and the public is bullying me” — Joseph, 30

Joseph feels his girlfriend is out of his league. He says he is the one punching above his weight. She is beautiful, tall, and gorgeous, and sometimes he genuinely wonders what she is doing with him. He once posted pictures from their date, and his friends spent the entire time dragging him in the group chat, saying she deserved a better-looking guy. They found it funny, but it hurt. She is also popular. When they go to raves, everyone wants to hug her. Sometimes, they do not even pay for event tickets because people know her. Someone once referred to him as her friend, and he could not even blame them. He is proud of her, and she loves him deeply. But constantly feeling like he is not good enough is exhausting. He does not post her pictures because he is tired of people making him feel like he does not deserve her.