6 Nigerians Reveal the Most Shocking Things They’ve Overheard at Work

Meetings, spreadsheets and social media metrics are the usual soundtrack of office life. But in Nigeria, workplace conversations can take turns that few would expect. From a finance officer making crude comparisons about his wife to a teacher who believes her looks make her unsackable, here are six Nigerians who overheard conversations they were never meant to hear.

“My wife? That one can never give it to me like Mama O.”

Jennifer*, 22, was a brand management intern at a PR firm. She liked the job, especially because it was female-dominated and the women were kind. But a handful of men made her uncomfortable, none more so than Dimma*, who worked in finance. He regularly made odd comments about how her trousers “shape” her and smiled in what she took to be a seductive way.

Last month, she went to his office to collect something for HR but stopped when she heard him laughing with another man inside. She listened. The other man talked about getting a blowjob and said his wife does it for him every night because he likes it. He then asked Dimma what his wife does for him that he likes. Condescendingly, Dimma replied, “My wife? That one can never give it to me like Mama O.” Jennifer entered the office and the conversation stopped. She says she wished she could say she was shocked, but she expected something like that from someone like him.

“Me? Work? That’s what that boy is for.”

Johnson*, 23, is a junior news editor at a small tech firm. Media moves quickly, and he feels everyone pulls their weight — except his supervisor and senior editor, Mr Joseph*. Johnson is meant to edit about three stories a day, but Mr Joseph often piles his own work on top, leaving Johnson editing five stories and burning out before close of work. Mr Joseph always says it is for Johnson’s betterment and that he started the same way. Johnson says that is a lie, because Mr Joseph did not start from a junior role, so no one harassed him.

Last year, the toilet Johnson usually used was occupied, so he used the one in Mr Joseph’s office. While he was there, Mr Joseph walked in talking on the phone. At some point, the person on the line apparently told him to get back to work or asked when his break was over. Mr Joseph scoffed and said, “Me? Work? I don’t work again; that’s what that boy is for.” The “boy” was Johnson. He was shocked. He knew he was being used, but the blatancy of it hurt differently. He came out of the toilet and greeted Mr Joseph, hoping to draw attention to himself, but Mr Joseph did not even acknowledge him. Johnson says he does not know whether Mr Joseph did not hear him or simply did not care, but either way, it made him start looking for another job. He refuses to be disrespected while doing so much work.

“How can they let me go? You know Mr T likes my figure.”

Amaka*, 23, started working as an administrative assistant at a private secondary school last year. It is not a permanent role; she is doing it until she figures out what she wants to do with her life. The students are fine, but she does not like the teachers, whom she describes as typical, wicked Nigerian teachers: shouting at students instead of helping them learn, lazily breezing through classes and similar behaviour. The Principal, Mr T, is also very strange, and she does not like the way he looks at the female students.

Of all the teachers, Miss Olaogun* is the worst. She always screams at her students and favours the boys. She is also one of the few young, unmarried teachers at the school, so she looks very different from her colleagues. One day during lunch, she and some teachers were sitting together, teasing each other. Amaka was at the table beside her with a different set of teachers. Someone joked that Miss Olaogun would soon be fired, and she said, “How can they let me go? You know Mr T likes my figure.” They all burst out laughing. Amaka was shocked by her audacity in saying something like that in public. Since then, she has been keeping an eye on Miss Olaogun and Mr T.

“The way ChatGPT has been writing my reports, I’ve even forgotten how to do my job.”

Tunde*, 26, believes there is an ethical way to use AI at work, but in his office, those ethics have been completely abandoned by his teammate, David*. Tunde works as a research assistant at a consulting firm, and his work relies heavily on gathering data, analysing reports and helping staff prepare presentations. A lot of rigour goes into it, so his reports usually take time. David, by contrast, churns them out quickly, and their bosses constantly commend him for his fast pace.

One day, Tunde stepped outside to stretch his legs and saw David by his car, making a call. David did not see him, so he kept talking about work. Eventually, he said, “The way ChatGPT has been writing my reports, I’ve even forgotten how to do my job.” Tunde is not against using ChatGPT to help with tasks, but it was clear to him that David had been making up information in his reports. David even added, “They’re paying for my reports to sound intelligent. It doesn’t have to be factual.” That was in December last year, and Tunde worried David was getting away with it. This March, however, David was queried. No one knows why, but Tunde strongly suspects he was caught.

“Is it simple sleeping with him that I can’t do?”

Ore*, 34, has worked as a pension officer for a decade and says he has never met someone as bad at her job as the new intern in his office, Farida*. She is 21 and spends all day on her phone. She does not even get much work, but the small tasks she is entrusted with, she completely neglects. Someone reported her to their boss, and she was yelled at last month. When she was screamed at, she started crying, and one of the other interns took her to the toilet to comfort her.

As they were coming out of the bathroom, the other intern joked, “Back in the day, we could sleep with our oga and not have to work.” Ore thought it was a stupid joke, but he also understood it for what it was. However, Farida muttered with all seriousness, “Is it simple sleeping with him that I can’t do?” Ore knew that was not a joke, especially since the other girl told her to shut up. He told a colleague, who said she was just playing, but something about Farida does not sit right with his spirit.

“Did I tell you I care about the f*cking staff?”

Three years ago, when she was religious, Thelma*, 28, used to volunteer in an Anglican church. It was not a mega-church, but a lot of people liked going there. However, a few things some pastors did rubbed her the wrong way. She knew a bunch of them were not living the pious life they claimed; they fought constantly behind the scenes and argued a lot about money — in particular, who deserved the most of it.

One day, some volunteers and Thelma were counting the offerings after work when Pastor Abba* walked in and took a handful of the money. They let him because they were just volunteers and he was a lead pastor. But outside the building, he was intercepted by another pastor, one of their more level-headed leaders. He tried to reason with Pastor Abba, asking him if what he did was right, but Pastor Abba was annoyed and tried to sidestep him. Then the other pastor reminded him that Pastor Abba knew they tried to share the money equally among staff members. That is when Pastor Abba exploded and shouted, “Did I tell you I care about the f*cking staff?” Everyone gasped, but he did not care; he just kept walking away with the offering money.

It shocked Thelma so much that she left that church. She was never going to be paid since she was only a volunteer, but the disregard for other people was more than she could handle. It has been a long time since then, and even though she no longer thinks about God, she thinks about Pastor Abba a lot.